Being an ‘invisible sibling’ often refers to the experience of growing up with a brother or sister who has significant health, developmental, or mental health challenges. This can sometimes lead to feeling overlooked, as the needs of the sibling with a disorder can take a central role in family life.
These feelings are quite common and completely normal. It’s natural to experience a range of emotions, including resentment or jealousy, due to the disproportionate attention and resources often given to your sibling with special needs.
It is more common than many people realize. According to a study by Smith et al. in 2018, between 7-17% of children have siblings with chronic illnesses.
Interestingly, many of the adverse outcomes experienced by siblings of children with chronic illnesses are not directly caused by the sibling’s condition itself. As highlighted in a study by Hanvey et al. in 2022, these challenges often stem from a lack of understanding and support from the wider community. This can include insufficient resources, lack of emotional support, and inadequate recognition of the unique needs and experiences of these siblings. It underscores the importance of not only focusing on the sibling with the illness but also providing comprehensive support and acknowledgment to the often ‘invisible’ siblings.
While much of the research on siblings of children with chronic health conditions focuses on the challenges, it’s important to recognize that this experience can also lead to positive outcomes. Siblings in these circumstances often develop heightened empathy, greater independence, and a faster maturation process. These positive aspects arise from navigating complex family dynamics and understanding the nuances of care and compassion from a young age. Recognizing these strengths is vital in appreciating the full scope of the impact that having a sibling with a chronic condition can have.
Parents can provide open communication, access to resources, and opportunities for emotional support.
Absolutely. Many invisible siblings develop empathy, resilience, and a deep bond with their disabled siblings. They also learn valuable life skills.
Disabilities such as autism spectrum disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), sensory processing disorders, intellectual disabilities, and mental health conditions are a few examples.
Growing up with an invisible sibling can significantly impact a child’s sense of identity and self-esteem. They may experience a range of emotions, from pride in their caregiving role to frustration and guilt. Their identity can be shaped by the responsibilities they assume and the unique family dynamics they navigate. For some, being an invisible sibling can foster a sense of empathy and resilience, enhancing their self-esteem. However, it’s essential for parents to provide emotional support and ensure that the invisible sibling’s needs are acknowledged to promote a healthy self-identity.
Striking a balance is a delicate challenge for parents. It involves recognizing the needs and emotions of both children. Parents can allocate dedicated one-on-one time with each child, ensuring the invisible sibling receives attention and support. Open communication is crucial to understanding the invisible sibling’s feelings and concerns. Seeking external support, such as counseling, can help parents navigate this balance and ensure the emotional well-being of both siblings.
Parents can establish a balanced routine, allocate one-on-one time, and involve siblings in discussions about their disabled brother or sister’s care.
Yes, the specific challenges and advantages experienced by invisible siblings can vary based on the type and severity of their sibling’s disability. For example, caring for a sibling with a severe physical disability may involve physical caregiving tasks, while supporting a sibling with autism may require different skills, such as understanding sensory sensitivities. The advantages may include increased empathy, patience, and adaptability, which can be valuable qualities in various aspects of life.